I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Sext me about skeletons
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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