I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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