I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
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he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
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Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm always down for nudity.
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