White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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