My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
i out mim tonsoeep
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