you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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