i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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