i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize