he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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