She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize