i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize