I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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