What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
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Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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