can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize