I met the friendliest cop last night
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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