Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
My vagina is officially offended.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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