Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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