I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize