Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
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After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
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I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
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