You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
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okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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