Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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