did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Is it penis luge time yet?
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize