Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
tell me about the eggs
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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