Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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