why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
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you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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