Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day ππ#pensacolaproblems
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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