What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize