R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
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I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
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Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
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