honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize