I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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