I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
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since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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