thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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