I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize