i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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