No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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