i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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