I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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