everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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