I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
its liver damage thursday
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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