you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize