YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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