It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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