I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize