I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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