I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
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He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
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I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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