We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
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also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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