I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize