Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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