guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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