yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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